Best of BBC Future. 5. Also, theyre proud of you, when you do something like your family has been doing or you did something way greater or different than anyone in your family so far. The administrator takes no responsibility for any action or outcome a reader may make as a result of reading a post. Stay in the know when we release new content! Paul urged his young companion Timothy to be "a worker who does not need to be ashamed" (2 Timothy 2:15). I believe many people do not understand and appreciate the expression Im proud FOR you. I now understand that its because I dont feel superiority over anyone, and Im perfectly happy with that . Were brothers, dont you forget that! Language gets corrupted. Larissa's writing has been published in Huffington Post Australia, Early Childhood Australia's blog 'The Spoke'; Her Canberra, Gordon Training International blog, and Generation Next blog. "If by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people-their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights and their civil liberties-someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is . implying a mentor relationship. They often tell each other they are proud of one anothers achievements and they all know its genuine. Ive been totally using that word all wrong sheesh, all the complaints about the misuse of the word makes me feel bad about what and how I been addressing my peers and friends. Im proud of myself, too. #8: They say you need to change. If Your Partner Ever Says These 20 Things, You Should Break Up. If you want to reply saying you're proud of the person saying he's proud of you, the only correct answer out of those four is "I'm proud of you too". Tell me something else, Ive heard this at home. Do you think if they didn't mean it they would say it? Some years ago I attended a parenting seminar, where the speaker incidentally mentioned avoiding the phrase "Im proud of you". Think of things people have often praised. When I tell my kids Im proud they are surprised and pleased. A parent might say this to a child, perhaps. 7. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. If you care deeply for someone, it is entirely possible to share the sense of pride that they feel in THEIR achievement without your hijacking it in any way. John decides to replicate his painting (for the reward of praise, not for his own sense of improvement and competence), and looks up at his mother with rapturous expectation. But some of us never heard the expression in our lives till we were adults. When we avoid the phrase Im proud of you, we allow our children to be their own person, to grow to their own potential - in a relationship of mutual respect. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. Yes, I'm sure you've come across "me too" in such situations, but it's very often ambiguous, or sounds arrogant. Let them know you think it's great they're considering quitting and that you're ready to help. And Im so ashamed of you. "Scorned ex-girlfriends are the worst. But, seeing youre proud of me, Im fine. But, it can also be a bit overwhelming because it puts the spotlight on us and can make us feel exposed. Before you bring your GF home, know- How to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend, now. Thank you so much for this great compliment. And that's how I arrived at the "I'm Proud of You" litmus test. Dear! Most of the time you spend together is in the bedroom. Let them know that you are grateful for their support and that you appreciate their words. I started to cry with the realization that in my 40+ years I had never heard it from anyone but him. (I'd prefer "Congratulations! Thanks! They dont have more power than you, and in some cases less, but their opinion matters because they know you so well, and because you respect them and what they think. You haven't said who is speaking to whom. On the one hand, you're thinking, "He says I'm amazing," and you know he's not wrong. So tell them it feels like you are bothering them. You have always been there for me and our friendship is something that will never go away. Ive had multiple people tell me theyre proud of me like my parents, grandparents, elders but it just doesnt mean anything to me, I dont have any emotional response from any of them and my response ends up being ok or yup. A: It's not necessarily wrong to take pride in our work, of course; if we don't, our work will probably end up sloppy or incomplete. Approval is different to acceptance. 26. Here are some examples of ways you can respond to Im proud of you: These responses will show your appreciation for their words and will help to strengthen your relationship. But, the real credit goes to you and you only! 2014, 2016, 2019. Setting goals you can achieve, also called "realist goals," reduces the chance of frustration or doubting yourself or your abilities. Ive been waiting for a long time to give you this surprise! Its more potent because they have seen struggles in their life, and within that perspective, they still acknowledge the effort I have put into the achievement as deserving of recognition. Who is saying this to whom? I think children want simply to be accepted and respected as themselves. You look so much better!". Well, in that case, you should be proud of yourself, too. My boyfriends ex, posted a im so proud of you on a photo he posted: something he achieved. Suddenly I found myself questioning my rather lame Im thrilled for you. 1. You are happy they are an ambassador for you. First, there's physical attraction. Here are other litmus tests I've blogged about. Overall, its reserved for people who you trust and respect. But to be proud of them? As your friend I want you to know that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. Imperfect, striving, playful, loving, learning. It can be difficult to respond to Im proud of you if youre struggling with self-doubt. We can all have slightly different interpretations of words which if not careful can start a war! I am in awe of your talent and accomplishments. That way, all they have to do is show up. 1. . The administrator suggests obtaining professional advice on any concerns (including medical or psychological) the reader may hold regarding their children, themselves, or others. Wondering where that may be coming from. Thank you for starting this. I think I instinctively recognized that the balance of power had somehow been upset, but couldnt put my finger on it. 25. Hearing those words can make us feel seen, understood, and appreciated. Try either "I'm happy for you!" or, what I find more accurate, "You bring me joy." "You bring me joy," communicates the sentiment nicely. This is when his feelings go deeper than the surface, and he genuinely cares about you as a person. 15. You worked so hard, you really deserve that job! Luke 18:9-14 ESV / 5 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful Don't remind them how far they've come. This canstop the development of their own, "You look really pleased with your effort". I am trying very, very hard not to implode. If a parent can say, Im proud of you, then can the parent also say the opposite , Children may become dependent on their parents (and others, such as teachers or grandparents) evaluation of their achievements. I have a little brother who is rather insecure and jealous of me, a very controlling person that thinks having a relationship with each other means that I put up with him trying to make me feel less than in the power scheme, which is precisely why I totally avoid him My YOUNGER brother about my creative talents has to say..I am extremely proud of you..for a bit, this has thrown me off, and I was not able to quite articulate how this really got under my skin, why I did a search on the phrase and have been thinking about itand yeah, it does seem a major insult when an emotionally uncool person whose relationship with you should be on equal terms has to act like a parent, always making a show of being the bigger man saying boy, I am so proud of you. Better than nothing, Neil, but its sad, Mr. Rogers had to do what parents ought to be doing. When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. It will also help to give you a boost of confidence. One might consider that the mature thing to do, or the business savvy thing to do, but she has had nothing to do with them for years, because they are arrogant and condescending. But if someone says this to you, without further explanation, then it means that you are not a priority to them, they have other things that they are doing. but with my Mothers words of wisdom always echoing. For me, this was a huge take-away moment. A friend persevered in getting her masters degree after running into academic trouble as an undergrad. Use words that will strengthen your relationship. They note your hard work and dedication and remember the person you were before and admire the person you have become. "Be proud of your scars. In what context? Here are 5 other ways to say "I'm proud of you" to older children: 06 "It's been an honor to watch you grow up." This can be used for both a teen and an adult. What someone else does might make me proud to be his or her friend/teacher/partner/whatever and thats exactly how Ill express it Im proud to be your fill-in-the-blank. ( Or even what youve done makes me proud to call myself your ____). You might say: "I'm so proud of you for trying to quit smoking. Anyone who overthinks any form of compliments or think's that there are hidden agendas or people are not being completely honest about what they say, should take a step back and ask themselves why they are thinking those thoughts, personally i believe it's more about them and not what is being said about the phrase. Initially this sit didnt sit well with me. My friends tell me that rather often so like once every month or so, which I think is a lot, if you say it more often you'll take it for granted for sure. You are using an out of date browser. I had an experience where a friend, who I consider in every way my equal, noticed that I made a healthy food choice (not that I didnt before, but I think its the first time he noticed) and he said, Oh Im so proud of you!. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude is also a great way to show appreciation to others. He's proud of you. But I believe that spouses say it, and siblings. Thank you all, too. 03:48. A good friend of mine, who has had a tough life, has just written and published her first book. It may be a taunt from them to do something unusual. thats a case of someone doing one-upmanship. Youre the most amazing parents and thank you for believing in me. 24. Be proud of you." - Oprah Winfrey 3. A significant share of Americans (44%) say they personally know someone who has been shot, either accidentally or intentionally. She was very rude and grouchy with me and reluctantly corrected her errors after I asked the manager to get involved. Yea, Thank you is not the only response. 2. I say it often to former students. I had a lot of this type of treatment in that small community. 9. Might as well as them to stop saying yall or bless her heart.. They may start to see their parent as being insincere, or even manipulative. Yes, I think this is why my friend, even though older, was proud of me, I felt was being presumptious to put herself above me. I avoid "well done" or "good job" for all the reasons Ive stopped saying "Im proud of you". Yeah, If grandpa was here, he would have said the same. It can also help to show appreciation to others and can help to create stronger relationships. I dislike the phrase entirely, regardless of how we are involved in the individuals life: parent, teacher, mentor, etc. . If someone calls you boring: "Yeah, and what makes you so exciting?" Nothing,. 10. For doing what Im supposed to do? "I had no idea". Do you really think this had a lot of positive impact on many children? All rights reserved. In this sense, a mentor is a parent that you choose, and the desire for his or her love and approval is as natural as the desire for that of a parents pride. . If you feel stuck on getting that pride going or can't seem to identify the traits or qualities you're most proud of in yourself, go back in time. Who are children then living their life for - themselves, or their parent? Fascinating post in two regards. Based on the situation and who says this, heres a list of better responses to pick. From that day on, I felt like I couldnt really trust him, and now I know why. What if you really are proud of the person? Thank you so much! Dont just thank them, you can reply with some cute responses to let them know that youre proud the same as they are. I think we need to invent another word for that wonderful feeling in our own chest when someone we care for does something they feel proud about and we agree that they should feel proud. Date TBA. So, the next time someone says Im proud of you, remember to take the time to think about how you want to respond. "), Parent: "Im proud that you got all As in your school report/won that tennis trophy", How might you feel as the child? A Summer Like No Other - Bushfires, Fear, Famly, Hope and Change, Preparing To Say Goodbye Even As I Hug Hello, When I Realised That Being A Parent To An Adult Is Different To Being A Parent Of A Child, Setting Limits Sets Limits On Children Learning to Discipline Themselves, Learning to Take The Back Seat As A Parent, As My Child Moves To Adulthood, Am I Treasuring The Moments? When someone says Im proud of you, they are expressing their admiration, respect, and gratitude for something you have done. Look him in the eyes and smile. Proverbs 29:23 A person's pride will humble him, but a humble spirit will gain honor. To be sure, "I'm really proud of you buddy" can sometimes occur between friends. I live about 200 miles from the old college & she lives in the same town as the college is located. Want to Change the Way you React to Your Children? If someone calls you out for saying something offensive, remember that your intent can be different than your impact. I do find it odd to say "I'm proud of you for doing the dishes". But you'd like some clarity on what he really means when he says that. Most times, people use "I am busy" as a tool for avoidance. Pause before responding. Who put in the practice in order to win that tennis match? Thats something for a parent to say or a parental figurebut only occasionally. Refresher workshop for P.E.T. ), Partner: "I'm proud of you for landing that job", While you might understand that your partner is being supportive, might you also feel a bit miffed? "Im proud of you!" How often do we utter this common parenting phrase, in moments of pleasure at our childs latest achievement? Use thirty phrases to say "I'm proud of you" to make the special person feel good and empowered. It makes us feel seen, understood, and appreciated. "You make me so mad.". Like I wasnt doing enough before? I, too, rightly believe that I had little to do with my offspring making his way in life in a manner that is worthy, but as parent, conveying I am proud of you, has distinctive and important meaning. 8. Well, that means theyre impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. . While "sb is proud of him" can express positive meaning. . They can be proud; we should be happy for them, and grateful that we played any part in it. Gun owners are more likely than non-gun owners to know someone who has been shot (51% vs. 40% of non-owners). (I'd prefer "Wow, that must have taken some thought and courage! It remains condescending and arrogant. Please contact info@parentskills.com.au for further information. Exactly the information I was looking for thank you! 7. With the best of intentions, we want to let our children know of our pride in them. I also told her I had a great time & that she picks up my spirits. Taking a few deep breaths can help you focus. Believe me when I tell you that it is not meant so kindly elsewhere. 7. Larissa is passionate about the skills taught in Effectiveness Training. 1. The Psychology of Bragging. For Stein, the worst compliment is hearing: "You've lost soooo much weight! I teach high school. To me, to be proud of someone, you do not have to be above them in any way although that is usually the case ie older or more experienced (or snobbish if that is how you are) To me, you do have to have some connection with the person you are proud of. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre reinforcing the positive behavior that you want to see in yourself and others. What are we trying to say or do, when we innocently, and with the best of intentions, praise our children with "Im proud of you"? Oh, youre one of my trusted supporters! From what I read, she falls into the category of know them well but I wonder if its not something a bit out of place. My husband just said it to me a couple of days ago (for a little achievement I just made in my physique) and it made me happy as well. By accepting the compliment and reflecting on your qualities, you may feel more satisfied in life. 11. "This isn't easy, but you did the right thing." Sometimes supporting a friend and letting them know you're proud takes the form of helping them cope with a difficult decision they made. When someone says "I'm proud of you", they are expressing their admiration and respect for you - and that can be a powerful thing. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. 16. Instead of these phrases, focus on how proud you are of the person. Especially when your best friend is saying You make me proud, they arent just complimenting you. It's a way of congratulating someone for having accomplished something impressive. She texted back that I make her smile and that shes proud of me. Connect, Converse and Communicate Better. Immune Response. 1. It makes sense for a mentor or parent to say this, or a friend or other who served in some coaching role. Achieving your goals will help you stay motivated, inspire you to set and achieve more, and increase confidence. I googled a sentence on this topic to see if anyone had written on it (hoping they had). Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. I admire your ability to ___________. I know that it is in the nature of the internet that you can confirm, and get consensus about most any belief you have, but, if that is what has happened here, Im OK with it. Is it OK to respond to "I am proud of you" with "Me to", "So do I", and "I am too", and "I am proud of you too"? I dont know that you provided a litmus test, but the article acted as such for me. When you say, "I'm proud of you," you may actually be simply rejoicing in another. facilitator, with over 1000 parents completing the course with her. Thank you, mom and dad, youre the reason for this. Thanks for all the interresting comments and opinions on how people use the phrase Im proud of you. you see the work of your close friend and you tell him "I am proud of you". I was damned proud of her for overcoming this setback and told her so. Proud Boys chairman Enrique Tarrio poses with a Proud Boys member at a rally in Delta Park in Portland, Oregon, on September 26, 2020. Try these new and funny excuses to ask for money from your parents or your family. To me, if someone I respect said they were proud of me, would mean much more and have a much better and more positive effect on me than if they said Im really happy for you because the feeling of someone being proud for me includes me, my efforts and achievements, and unites me with that person who said it at the moment of saying it. Sometimes a simple change of scenery might help you to stop thinking negative thoughts. How might you feel as the worker? Then there's emotional attraction. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); All Rights Reserved. Glad that I keep our family tradition alive. They just say it. Grandparents And Grandchildren: Observations From A Parent In-Between. But is that really very useful? 15. I am livid because a couple of arrogant, condescending people who had been known briefly, posted, We are so proud and impressed, on a stinking FB page, I do not use FB, etc.
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