After the events of the battle of New York Tony Stark had a bit of a crisis of confidence, but that didnt stop the jokes rolling off his tongue like usual. [points to a mythology book page with a drawing of Mjlnir], Agent Cale:[staring at The Destroyer]Is that one of Starks?Agent Coulson:I dont know. Haha, dab! Threat: Low to None.Nick Fury:That things clearly busted., Carol Danvers:Keep the Tesseract on Earth. Stephen Strange:[after Mordo hands him a card]Well, whats this? Erik Selvig:Ian!Ian Boothby:Selvig! I love him! Dude! You, Quill, are my friend.Peter Quill:Thanks.Drax the Destroyer:This dumb tree is also my friend. My bad., Spider-Man:[after taking down Giant-Man]Whoa, no, Im not done, Ive gotta get him back!Iron Man:Youre going home, or Im calling Aunt May! Probably us.Wanda Maximoff:You guys know I can move things with my mind, right?, Black Widow:Thank you.Sam Wilson:[holds up Redwing]Dont thank me.Black Widow:Im not thanking that.Sam Wilson:Aw, come on. This is gonna get weird, all right? Not in a creepy way, just more like a respectful appreciation. What are you up to these days?Loki:It varies from moment to moment., Thor:Hey, lets do Get Help.Loki:What?Thor:Get Help.Loki:No.Thor:Come on. Whats your name? I mean, Ive known first and Ive known longer but, its not a competition., Spider-Man:Excuse me, sir! [Rocket looks around in confusion]Rocket:Is that better?Drax:I dont know.Peter Quill:[snickering]Its worse. "Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.". [Drax gestures at his chin and gut]Peter Quill:Gamora, do you think ImMantis:[sensing Thor]He is anxious, angry, he feels tremendous loss and guilt.Drax:Its like a pirate had a baby with an angel.Peter Quill:Wow. I just need these two things.Peter Quill:What?Rocket Raccoon:[laughing]No, I thought itd be funny! [Harley hands Stark a newspaper with the headline of the destruction of Starks mansion]Tony Stark:Valid point., Tony Stark:You walked right into this one: Ive dated hotter chicks than you.Brandt:[scoffs]Is that all youve got? Funny marvel comic quotes. Bye, Mr. Criminal!, Street Vendor:Hey! 4 / 25 PHOTO: FACEBOOK.COM/MARVELSTUDIOSCANADA Captain America on sacrifices Albert Einstein. Thor:No, I would spin it really fast and it would pull me off theKorg:Oh my god, the hammer pulled you off? Oprah. I wanted to go old school for my first day., Shuri:The entire suit sits within the teeth of the necklace. Thor:[referring to Lokis Horned Headpiece]You dont really want to start this again, do you, Cow?, Thor:You! And so, we have done the monumental task of collating ALL the funniest lines from the Marvel movies here today, so that you can read through and have a chuckle while being reminded of the best moments. Korg:Yeah, Noobmaster69. Is it still the greatest movie in history?, Peter Parker:[catches Mantis]I got you! They took the backups of our backups. I thought Id throw her a bone, you know. You cant retract it., TChalla:Two people in a room can get more done than a hundred.King TChaka:Unless you need to move a piano., Scott Lang:Ca Captain America [shakes Steves hand vigorously]Steve Rogers:Mr. Lang.Scott Lang:Its an honor. Maybe. Bruce Banner:[in poor Portuguese]Dont make me hungry. Share these yearbook quotes with your friends. But you ought to be!, Thor:This mortal form has grown weak. Now, go ahead. 7 . "To have an idea is the easiest thing in the world. Why do you have your toes out in my lab?TChalla:What, you dont like my royal sandals? 3. [he sees hes free of his ankle monitor]Luis:[at Scotts house, he startled to see a giant ant on the couch]Whoa! Fearless, bold, confident, caring. Tony Stark:Honestly, at this exact second, I thought you were a Build-a-Bear.Rocket:Maybe I am., Steve Rogers:You know, I saw a pod of whales when I was coming in, over the bridge.Natasha Romanoff:In the Hudson?Steve Rogers:Fewer ships, cleaner waterNatasha Romanoff:You know, if youre about to tell me to look on the bright side Im about to hit you in the head with a peanut butter sandwich.Steve Rogers:Sorry, force of habit., Tony Stark:[to his daughter]Go to bed, or Ill sell all your toys., Korg:[playing Fortnite]Thor, hes back. Funny Marvel Quotes. Whats Mew-mew?, Darcy:Look! Thor:Noobmaster. [May throws a banana at Peter and hits him in the face]You can dodge bullets but not bananas? Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Why, did you hear something?, Steve Rogers: You see that Range Rover halfway up the block?Wanda Maximoff:Yeah, the red one? Look at you. Youre a dude. "Instruction ends in the schoolroom, but education ends only with life.". Two hours in the bathroom, whatever thats about.Scott Lang:Thats totally inaccurate. "Welcome to the real world. Oscar Wilde. Happy Women's Day. What do you need me to do?Hank Pym:I want you to break into a place and steal some shit.Scott Lang:makes sense., Scott Lang:Well, technically, I didnt rob them. By the way, this is a friend of mine, the tree.. - Henry David Thoreau. Quotes tagged as "marvel" Showing 1-30 of 145. Stephen Strange:I had to tell you. "Don't downgrade yours dream just to fit your reality, upgrade your conviction to match your destiny." -Stuart Scott This quote right here is special! These are the funniest lines from Ant-Man. Not Nicholas. Im gonna commit. Funny Graduation Quotes 1.) I can tell. Inspirational quotes and heartfelt graduation sayings perfect for honoring your 2023 grad, whether it's middle school, high school, college, or a doctorate. Sorry, I cant remember anybodys names., Bruce Banner:Whos Scott?Steve Rogers:Ant-Man.Bruce Banner:Theres an Ant-Man and a Spider-Man?, Okoye:When you said you were going to open Wakanda to the rest of the world, this is not what I imagined.TChalla:What did you imagine?Okoye:The Olympics, maybe even a Starbucks., [Thor appears with Stormbreaker]Bruce Banner:[laughs with joy]You guys are so screwed now!, Steve Rogers: New haircut? I dont dance.Peter Quill:Really? Maybe itll come back to me.. Out of the two of us, which one can ACTUALLY fly? Loki, hes alive! Ill take you to outer space!, Scott Lang:If you do this and it doesnt work, youre not coming back.Tony Stark:[nervous]Thanks for the pep talk, piss-ant., Tony Stark:[to Steve, referring to his 2012 self]Mr. Rogers, I almost forgot, that suit did nothing for your ass.Steve Rogers:No one asked you to look, Tony.Tony Stark:Its ridiculous.Scott Lang:I think you look great, Cap. Check these out: Were listing the films in chronological order of the events within the universe (rather than when they were released in real life), so of course, we need to start with Captain America! 15. Its a leisure vessel.Bruce Banner:What?Valkyrie:The Grandmaster uses it for his good times: orgies and stuff.Bruce Banner:Did she just say the Grandmaster uses it for orgies?Thor:Yeah. Well, she did quite a spread on Tony last year.Tony Stark:And she wrote a story as well., Tony Stark: Let the record reflect that I observe Mr. Hammer entering the chamber and I am wondering if and when any actual expert will also be in attendance., JARVIS:May I say how refreshing it is to finally see you on a video with your clothing on, sir.. Christine Palmer:Where have you been?Dr. Discover and share Funny Marvel Quotes. Check out the funniest lines from Thor: The Dark World. Always hold it high. Steve Rogers: Taller." " Peggy Carter: You can't give me orders! Marvel sounds a lot better. Im being threatened!, Steve Rogers:Is everything a joke to you?Tony Stark:Funny things are., Steve Rogers:Are you nuts?Tony Stark:Jurys out., Steve Rogers:Lets start with that stick of his. [Tony cringes]Maya Hansen:No! [Crowd howls with laughter. Were more optimistic, yes. tags: comics , inspirational , marvel , marvel-comics , stan-lee. But theyre actually an American invention. Ive been reading that a lot trying to catch up., Jasper Sitwell:Is this little display meant to insinuate that youre gonna throw me off the roof? Watch. Youve seen this, right? A cheap trick and a cheesy one-liner?Tony Stark:Sweetheart, that could be the name of my autobiography., The Mandarin:A true story about fortune cookies. Scott Lang:[raises hand]Excuse me, Dr. Pym?Hank Pym:You dont have to raise your hand Scott.Scott Lang:[lowers hand]Okay. Just look at you. Oh, wait a second, its me! Were killing you first!Rocket:Well, dying is certainly better than having to live an entire life as a moronic shitbag who thinks Taserface is a cool name., [Yondu removes a leaf-shaped ornament from his suit and shows it to Groot]Yondu:The drawer you wanna open has this symbol on it. - Ms. Marvel The door is more than it appears. Youve heard of this. "With great power comes great responsibility." - Stan Lee 2. The latter challenges the former to a duel, insisting that the only way she can prove . Engage your brain. Loki:I like her., Loki:This is so unlike you, brother. He protects the neighborhood and, you know, hes inspiring. I came to realize that I had more to offer this world than just making things that blow up. But you can always be immature. Hes not going anywhere. And I didnt even qualify.Pepper Potts:I didnt know that either.Tony Stark:Apparently Im volatile, self-obsessed, and dont play well with others.Pepper Potts:That I did know., Steve Rogers:Whats the matter, scared of a little lightning?Loki:Im not overly fond of what follows [Thor appears], Thor:You listen well, brother. Now you have graduated and "commenced," ending the last segment of your previous adventure, and now you begin your next adventure. I need your help., Tony Stark:[to Happy Hogan, who is pointing his tablet video-call camera too high, catching only the top half of his face]Is this the forehead of security?, [Harley approaches suit]Harley Keener:Thats is that Iron Man?Tony Stark:Technically, I am Iron Man.Harley Keener:Technically, youre dead. Audrey Hepburn. Yondu was the guy who abducted me, kicked the crap out of me so I could learn to fight and kept me in terror by threatening to eat me.Ego:[shocked]Eat you?Peter Quill:Yeah.Ego:Oh, that son of a bitch!, Peter Quill:Well, you may not be mortal, but meEgo:No, Peter death will remain a stranger to both of us, as long as the light burns within the planet.Peter Quill:Im immortal?Ego:Mmm-hmm.Peter Quill:Really?Ego:Yes! Be fiercely independent. Another broken white boy for us to fix., Everett K. Ross:[after he wakes up]Is this Wakanda?Shuri:[sarcastically]No, its Kansas., MBaku:If you say one more word, Ill feed you to my children! what connection type is known as "always on"? You should figure it out.Bruce Banner:None of them for flying alien spaceships!, Hela:[after ripping Thors eye out]Now you remind me of Dad., Thor:Shes too strong. Like Adele? So if youre taking another crack at him, I want in. Spatial paradoxes! Lip piercing, right?Natasha Romanoff:Yeah, shes cute.Steve Rogers:Yeah, Im not ready for that., Natasha Romanoff:What about the nurse that lives across the hall from you? Vell.Nick Fury:Mar-Vell. This is Well, get ready for a 800-foot statue of Pac-Man with Skeletor and Heather LocklearEgo:You can do anything you want.Peter Quill:Im gonna make some weird shit., Mantis:[about Rocket]The crabby puppy is so cute. Its called Footloose. Can I go show my friends?, Scott Lang:Maggie, I tell you this as a friend, and as the first love of my life, your fianc is an ass-hat.Maggie Lang:Hes not an ass-hat.Paxton:Hey, watch your language. Peter Quill: You're eating a Zarg-nut. 9. Here are the funniest lines from Doctor Strange. The measure of a person, of a herois how well they succeed at being who they are." -Frigga, Avengers: Endgame Seeing Thor transform into a depressed overweight version of himself was a tough sight to see. "So, what's it like in the real. 100 Best Marvel Movie Quotes Inspirational Marvel Quotes "Part of the journey is the end." ~ Tony Stark, Avengers: Endgame "Tony, trying to get you to stop has been one of the few failures of my entire life." ~ Pepper Potts, Avengers: Endgame "No amount of money ever bought a second of time." ~ Tony Stark, Avengers: Endgame For the full scoop on what this means, feel free to check out our Privacy Policy and Disclosure. Yeah. Okay., Nick Fury:[on Ultron]Guys multiplying faster than a Catholic rabbit!, Natasha Romanoff:[after kissing Bruce Banner]I adore you [suddenly pushes him off cliff]but I need the Other Guy., Ultron:Youre unbelievably nave.Vision:Well, I was born yesterday., Steve Rogers:Fury, you son of a bitch.Nick Fury:Oooh! Can you believe it? via GIPHY " Peggy Carter: How do you feel? Thought we wouldnt notice. Thor:Yes, they taught it on Asgard. You know what? 15. This a tremendous idea! 12. Steve Rogers: How can I? You kiss your mother with that mouth?, Tony Stark: [as Thor leaves a Bifrost mark]That man has no respect for lawn maintenance.. It was made from this special metal from the heart of a dying star. [kicks the weapons at Hulk]Hulk:Dont kick stuff! You know, the God of Thunder? 11. [Stark stares at Nick Fury, who simply stares at him back] Agreed., [seeing Tony Stark, in partial Iron Man armor, sitting in a giant rooftop donut display]Nick Fury:Sir, Im gonna have to ask you to exit the donut., Justin Hammer:[about Christine Everhart]Shes actually doing a big spread on me for Vanity Fair. "Just bury me in the ocean with my ancestors that jumped from the ships, because they knew death was better than bondage." - Erik Killmonger, 'Black Panther', 2018. Id say we were even. Cause I totally know CPR!, Thor:Hammer! "Everyone fails at who they are supposed to be, Thor. Hes inspires me to be a better man. Pay with cash. You deserve that!Aaron Davis:Ive got ice cream!Spider-Man:Youre a criminal! And I went to a place called Kamar-Taj and I talked to someone called The Ancient One. And IDr. Sir., Major Kathleen Kat Sparr: Are you telling me you can make more like him?Dr. With 23 movies so far, not to mention television shows, thats quite a lot of characters, storylines and events. Were vegetarians., Everett K. Ross:[pursuing Killmongers cache of weapons]Okay, Shuri, I got em. 10. Just like "Anchorman," "Step Brothers" is filled with memorable quotes. [blows a hole in the ship, Ebony Maw is sucked out into space as in the climax of Aliens], [the Guardians bring Thor aboard]Peter Quill:How the hell is this dude still alive?Drax:He is not a dude. "An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.". I have never been jealous. Hmm?Peter Quill:Im not gonna answer to Star-Munch.Rocket:I did it because I wanted to!Peter Quill:Dick., Gamora:[sceptically]A little one-inch man saved us?Rocket:Well, if he got closer, Im sure he would be much larger.Peter Quill:Its how eyesight works, you stupid raccoon.Rocket:*Dont call me a racoon*!Peter Quill:Im sorry. Its humiliating.Thor:Not for me, its not., Loki:Heres the thing. The best part of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 might be baby Groot, but the clever quips certainly come in second. While a team being broken apart isnt all that amusing, these are the lines from Captain America: Civil War that are funny! Itll be Draxs.Drax:[laughs]I have famously huge turds., Nebula:[sneering]Look at you, a Garden of the Galaxy!Gamora:Its Guardian! [in English]After your questioning, we will take him back to Wakanda with us.Everett K. Ross:What? Are you looking for this?[Tony and Thor dont laugh]James Rhodes:Boom. This is one of the most memorable and heartfelt Endgame quotes. What is wrong with Giving Tree here?Rocket Raccoon:Well he dont know talkin good like me and you, so his vocabulistics is limited to I and am and Groot, exclusively in that order.Peter Quill:Well I tell you what, thats gonna wear real thin, real fast, bud., Peter Quill:Here you go. They make the most powerful and horrific weapons to ever torment the universe. Nope, that's worse. Her thing is neuroelectric interfacing, telekinesis, mental manipulation. Its pretty freaky, but its safe. And if I tear myself in half, dont come back for me.Bucky Barnes:Hes gonna tear himself in half?Captain America:You sure about this, Scott?Ant-Man:I do it all the time. [Spider-Man does a flip]YEAH!, Peter Parker:[in a car with Tony]So, to become an Avenger, is there like trials or an interview?Tony Stark:Just dont do anything I *would* do. And so are you. The ending of a year, and the moving on is a time when we reflect on the impact others have had on us. Stephen Strange:Yeah. I could catch them all red-handed, this is awesome! Top 20 Iconic Avengers Quotes Funny & Witty 1. You know what that is., Drax:Finger on throat means death!